Notes From a Fellow Traveller

Letting Go – Letting Be

As we individuate and enter adulthood, we take on a personal history, habits of perception, established beliefs and ideas, various identities, and the sense of a unique personal self. That results in a modestly predictable life with its pleasures and accomplishments, distress and disappointments. However, such a conventional life lacks the constancy of a natural presence, delight, serenity, and spontaneity that are the special treasures of human life.

Those who are truly fortunate are inspired by a pervasive sense that there must be more to life than ordinary living. That subtle but unrelenting push is sourced by childhood remembrances and occasional adult glimpses which evoke, at the center of our being, an unforgettable truth about life that has been long forgotten. It’s that truth that relentlessly pushes us towards a larger life.

That essential life force, which compels us towards recovering and living with full aliveness the truth of who we truly are, is present in each of us. To live our truth and fullness we must first let go of what was mistakenly adopted from others and acquired from past life experiences. That sense of our personal self surreptitiously becomes who we believe we are and obscures out deeper self. That false belief must be eroded and abandoned for the truth of our authentic self to re-emerge. It can be said that the path to who we truly are runs through who we are not. Again, the path to who we truly are runs through who we are not.

We let go of what never was – a made-up and false mental identity. That is where contemplative practice enters our life. It offers an inner silence. That mental stillness allows for the insight that mental activity is transient, story-like, and has little to do with who we truly are.

We learn to let mental activity come and go on its own, offering no attachment, clinging, or interest – like waves rising and falling in the sea or clouds passing in the sky. When the waves and clouds pass, what remains, and never leaves, is ocean and space. So, it is with our self. When we let go of the attachment to the transient components of our personal I, what remains and never perishes is our natural self, a simple awareness.

The slow process of letting go of our fascination with mental activity shows up in a calmer day-to-day life, less reactivity, and a diminished investment in the ups and downs of personal life. We increasingly live in an observational and witnessing awareness that no longer gets entangled in mental dramas, ours or others. This shift progressively allows the qualities of our true self to self-reveal – serenity, selfless love, an intuitive wisdom, and open freedom.

At first, letting go of who we are not requires attention. Our old patterns are tenacious and frequently re-assert themselves. This is not a time for frustration, but rather a pointer directing us to self-remember who we truly are, to stop, take a deep breath and return home. In time, in a very subtle way, this becomes increasingly natural. When we fall back to old ways, we notice and self-remember, over and over.

There will be a time in practice and daily life when we become aware of the final step – letting go of letting go. In practice we let go of all effort, the meditator, the meditation, our sense of serenity, silence, observing, and delight. We want a direct experience, not a cognitive substitute. The thought or labeling of serenity is not serenity itself. The thought or labeling of awareness is not awareness itself. And finally, we let go of letting go. What remains is a foundational isness, suchness, presence – a being. It is hard to place this basic space of life in words. It just is.

In the East they speak of the early stages of meditation as a raging waterfall. We have finally stopped long enough to actually hear the cacophony we live with every day. With practice we experience our innerness as a rushing stream, quieter but still active. Then we come to the heart of meditation which is experienced as a gentle and still river flowing through the flat plains. Finally, at the conclusion the river drops into the sea and is one with the source, the vast ocean of being. And finally, letting go of the one that lets go.

The formula is letting go, letting go, letting be. And then, an indescribable oneness naturally and spontaneously arises, revealing to us the great mystery and truth of life.

www.elliottdacher.org

Meditation and Beyond on Amazon

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Humankind Cannot Bear Much of Reality

“Humankind can not bear very much reality.” These words, words of the poet T.S. Eliot, have echoed in my mind for many years like a persistent Zen Koan. What is this fundamental reality he speaks of? Why can’t humans bear it? If we cannot base our life on a realistic understanding, how can we live an authentic and meaningful life?

Here it is, that stark, true, but unbearable reality: life as we imagine it will come to an end as we enter biological recycling, careers and fame will dissipate, all that is now ours will be owned by others, and our loved ones will disappear. Everything is perishable, impermanent, and subject to the laws of birth and death. In our beginning, writes the poet, is our end. Without further examination and understanding, it is quite evident why humankind cannot bear very much of this reality.

It is not easy, convenient, or socially rewarding to pursue a realistic understanding of life. At any moment I can feel my mind turning away from it as quickly as possible, towards other more palatable experiences. In order to avoid a realistic view, we spend our days immersed in distractions, amusements, and transient pleasures. By anesthetizing our self to the essential truths of life, we gain a certain transient illusory comfort, putting off the inevitable confrontation with truth.

What is the real cost of running from the truth of life? What is the cost of denying the reality of impermanence and perishability? The cost is the lifelong construction of a house of cards that alternates between moments, even prolonged moments, of pleasure and distraction that are always impregnated with the seeds of loss, suffering, and collapse

Whether our temporary remedy is in materialism, fame, self-improvement programs, drugs, and so on, these anesthetics and their denial of a realistic view of human life, are causes of ill health of body, mind, and spirit.

A fully human life, the poet tells us, one that is not subject to the fears and anxieties of perishability or the folly of endless distractions, can only be gained at “the cost of everything.” And what is that everything that must be given up? It’s our distractions, external focus, false beliefs, and inauthenticity. It is the imaginary and man-made fortress of a seemingly autonomous and individualized self and its complex outer world that we have so carefully constructed to avoid what, on the surface and only on the surface, appears to be an unbearable reality.

The problem is that our fear of perishability is a misconception. Human life is neither meaningless nor hollow. It is neither empty nor painful. It is not an abyss. In fact, our perishable human life that is the very source of the peace, happiness, and love we chase after, but never find with reliability and stability in our outer search.

Turning towards human reality reveals its actual nature. Staring right at it, we can see it as it is rather than how we fear it to be. Yes, all is impermanent and perishable. However, we discover that the very reason this is so is that everything relies for its existence on other factors and circumstances. The existence of everything – self, others, and material phenomenon – is dependent on many factors and circumstances.

Milk cannot exist without sun, water, grass, the cow’s physiology, the bottling process, work of the farmer and distributor, and our labeling the final product as milk. That is similarly true for everything else as well, including our self. The result is that everything is inter-dependent and inter-connected. Everything is related. There is one single whole and we are a part of the whole and the whole is a part of us. There is neither disconnection, nor separation - nor actual birth and death, just an ongoing inter-being of life that flows and constantly changes form in the infinite moment of full awareness and presence. It can be better said that life is transformational rather than perishable. And that realization is blissful, not fearful.

When we directly experience our inter-being with all of life, we are released from the fear of emptiness, meaninglessness, hollowness, loneliness, anxiety, and the host of other afflictive emotions that result from running away from the life-enhancing truth of how reality actually is. With a realistic view of life, we can live in complete freedom, wisdom, heart, and connectedness. That is what those who achieved this realization have shared with us. The reality of human life is not to be feared, but cherished. It is not an empty pit, but the very source of human flourishing.

We live at a time of deep confusion about the nature of self and reality. We live at a time when the precious truth of existence is hidden by endless distractions, which we mistake for life itself. We live in a time where even the paths and methods promoted to extract our self from our delusions too often become distractions themselves. For any society at any time it is difficult to turn towards life, towards truth, towards the precious beauty of being. But in modern times we have succeeded better than most in creating and endless array of amusements, activities, and distractions that appear on the surface to be better alternatives to being fully human.

The only way out, as it has always been, is in. It is to dive into our inner being and discover that what once seemed dark and fearful is the true light, the true source of peace, the essence of joy, the elixir of freedom, and the unchanging gold and presence that we have sought everywhere but at the center of the seeker him/her self. What was thought to be a disaster turns out to be our salvation.

How does this unfold in meditation? First, there is the motivation of stress, distress, and suffering. In meditation our outer life begins to quiet down, and the overactive mind progressively becomes calmer. If practiced correctly, it will ultimately lead us to truth, to a realistic and accurate understanding of self and life.

Increasingly, awareness drops us into the center of our being, which is found not to be an abyss, but, emptied out of our usual distractions, a place of serenity, ease, connectedness and wholeness. Perhaps for the first time we do not fear the experience of reality. We do not fear who we are and existence as it is. That releases us to from the compulsion of distractions to the freedom and aliveness of life. What a relief to return home to who and what we are. The gift of an authentic meditation and its inner dive is an authentic life lived with ease regardless of the complexity of outer life.

We cannot only bear reality. We can flourish by fully living it. But for this, we must let go of distractions and amusements and discover our inner life and the truths it conveys. Then we can experience the whole of life from truth rather than fear, joy rather than transient pleasure.

www.elliottdacher.org

Meditation and Beyond at Amazon

Elliott's Podcast