Notes From a Fellow Traveller

I Fled Him Down ......

I fled Him down the nights and down the days ….

This first line of a poem written by Francis Thompson has taken residence in my mind ever since it was first spoken to me many years ago. It’s words and cadence steadfastly cease to leave perhaps, I assume, because it touches a deep unrelenting inner truth of which I have to date gained only partial understanding and even less experience.

First, a bit about the author. Thompson had a difficult life marked by poverty, homelessness, ill-health, and opium addiction. He spent his early student years in medical school for which he was ill-suited. However, in time he found writing to be his natural gift and passion. After living on the streets for years, he left a scribbled set of poems on a publisher’s door step, who quickly noted his talent and assisted and mentored him throughout his lifetime. As part of his treatment for Opium addiction he spent years at a pastoral Priory in England where his poetry flourished and his Catholic faith renewed itself. He died in 1907 at the age of 47 years.

I would like to quote a few of the most quoted lines from his most famous poem, The Hound of Heaven.

I fled Him, down the nights and down the days;
I fled Him, down the arches of the years;
I fled Him, down the labyrinthine ways
Of my own mind; and in the mist of tears
I hid from Him, and under running laughter.    ……………..

When I first heard these words, I was touched in a soft and serene place which I knew, but didn’t know. At that time, I could neither have told you who the hound was nor even less so the heaven whose scent it surely and tenaciously pursued. Yet nevertheless something awakened within that would persist over time.

I now realize that Thompson’s hound is a poetic metaphor for the irrepressible urge that “hounds” each of us to recognize and unite with the source of our being, our most natural and essential, or if you wish, divine self. It has taken time, detours, misplaced pursuits, and subtle resistance for the ripening to occur which allowed that inner heaven to subtly reveal itself to this wandering pilgrim, at first in brief glimpses only. That hound within may have had the scent, but for many years it was barely detectable to my ordinary mind.

Do you know your inner hound and the heaven it pursues? Can you sense your hound chasing you, urging you deeper, urging you to go beyond? Does it show-up as a nagging sense that there must be more to life? Can you sense the inner heaven it is pointing toward? Perhaps it’s at times catalyzed by a moment in nature, beauty, dance, music, or intimacy. Look carefully at what happens in these moments. Your personal self drops away, leaving in its absence an incomprehensible glimpse of a natural flow, serenity, and well-being. Are we fortunate enough at these seemingly serendipitous moments to recognize the significance of this glimpse of Self, stop, and know it as our essential and immutable self, our inner heaven?

And how have we learned to hide from our essence, our heaven? What things betray the unchanging presence of our true home? Make your own list. Here are some of mine: procrastination, distraction, meaningless entertainment, trivial conversations, transient pleasures, materialism, busyness, judgments, over-indulging in numbing comforts, mental gymnastics, and finally an unquestioned and tenacious belief that I am my petty personal self and nothing beyond. What would be the individual and cultural result of each of us listening to the call from within, to our inner hound, and acknowledging and living from our true nature?

The poet goes further to say, “All things that betray my essence betray me. All things that betray me betray life.” That phrase shakes me. I don’t usually think of my accustomed and usual activities and attitudes as betraying me, betraying life. I usually consider them as worthwhile pleasures, human comforts, amusing moments, social pleasantries, learned ways to relax. Are these self-betrayals, life-betrayals? Ask for yourself.

What happens in meditation? For a blessed period of time, the outer world, with all of its activities, falls away. The mind stills. No distractions, social requirements, entertainment, tech devices, and so on. At first it can be difficult to calm the restless habit of the mind. It seems to be on automatic, defying efforts to take it out of drive. But if in time we stop logging into the overactive mind, it stills, we ease up, let go, allow life to happen and finally, rest in our natural self. No more hounding, no more urging, home at last to serenity, ease, and contentment.  

Why do we spend a lifetime, individually and as a culture, inventing ways to distract our self, to betray ourself? Why? Is it we fear that without the reference point of an individual self and personal identity we will be lost in a vast abyss of nothingness, or worse? Does your actual experience reveal that to be a truth? Or, do you in actuality reveal a sweet inner heaven? Once again consider what happens when we lose our usual sense of “I” in meditation, immersed in nature, in beauty, dance, art, music, or selfless love? Do we fall apart or do we find our self in a space of flow, openness, ease, and delight? What are we hiding from, anyway?

We must know how and why we hide in order to recognize it moment-to-moment, stop the conditioned ways of hiding, be still, and drop into our natural self. Then, we can show-up in day-to-day life experiencing what was once mundane from the ground of our natural being.

The poet ends with these words:

“I am He Whom thou seekest!”

That which I seek, seeks me. And it is unknown to understanding, known only to experience.

                                               Elliott's Website

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Stillness

Stillness

When we become free from our habitually overactive mind, a profound natural stillness spontaneously reveals itself. But to permanently free ourself from this day-to-day mind, we must have a full and accurate understanding of how the ordinary mind works, so we no longer fall prey to its habits, reaction patterns, past history, and conditioned mental activity. Freed from the dominance of ceaseless mental activity, our usual sense of self dissolves, clarity arises, and a natural inner stillness appears, a stillness that is the ground of our being and is uninterrupted by the flow of life’s circumstances and challenges. And that natural stillness, as we shall see, is quite different from what we customarily call the calm or quiet mind

You might feel this to be a distant and unimaginable possibility - an unchanging stillness in the midst of everyday challenges? Yet, everyone has experienced a glimpse of this resilient natural stillness – a moment lost in nature, tender intimacy, art, beauty, dance, music, and at other times. Your chattering mind stops and in its place is an experience of stillness, serenity, presence and flow. Recall such a moment for yourself. We usually take this as a mere pleasant moment, failing to recognize its true significance. But if we stop in that moment and experience fully, we will notice the momentary absence of the personal self, which allows the stillness and flow of our true nature to reveal itself. You have each had this experience many times. I urge you not to lose its significance, not to lose its meaning, not to write it off as a mere pleasant reverie, but rather to recognize it is a profound preview of what is possible for an awakened human life.

The stillness I am speaking of is quite different than what we usually call the calm mind. The calm mind is always in relationship to the restlessness of our ordinary mind. A particular circumstance, activity, or method which relaxes and soothes the mind, shifts us momentarily towards the calmer end of the spectrum between calm and restless. However, the potential for restlessness always remains. Remove the circumstance, activity, or method and the restlessness re-appears. We all know what happens as the effect of a massage, a relaxation technique, or a calm day in nature slowly wears off. The active mind re-asserts itself.

The question is how to reveal this natural mental stillness and sustain this delight of freedom, ease, and simplicity in the midst of daily life. The answer is most certainly not more of the same - another technique, addiction to relaxation activities, or withdrawal from life’s movements. Only through the awakening of a truthful and complete understanding of our mind can we disable the underlying source and disturbance of mental restlessness and allow our natural nature to reveal itself. This requires a bit more effort than applying a temporary circumstance or method to the restless mind. But this understanding offers the only promise of a stable, harmonious, and serene body, mind, and spirit irrespective of life’s misfortunes.

For this we must understand the two fundamental wounds of the human experience that result in the restless and distress-prone mind. The first and foundational wound occurs, unknown to us, when our family names us, a seemingly natural and innocuous event. Before we knew our name, we were nameless. We were connected to the whole. There was no “I and Other,” no “I and It.” There is simply the moment-to-moment awareness, presence, and beingness. It is for the young child as the poet Wordsworth describes it:

                          The earth, and every common sight,

                          To me did seem

                          Apparelled in celestial light,

                          The glory and the freshness of a dream.

                           It is not now as it hath been of yore;—

                           Turn wheresoe'er I may,

                           By night or day.

                           The things which I have seen I now can see no more.

Our given name becomes the container for our soon to be developed individuality, a necessary but nevertheless source of future distress. This personal sense of “I” is expanded and filled with the knowledge of approval and disapproval, right and wrong, and shoulds and shouldnt’s, footprints of past history, identities, patterns of perception, and habits of reactivity. Our expansive, unified, and connected world is slowly contracted to a an progressively acquired personal self, one which is invariably disconnected and separated from others, our planet, and most importantly our natural and authentic self. That is our first and primary wound – the mental creation of an individual personal self, accompanied by a firm belief that this personal self is our true self.

Once we have taken on the first human wound, the unquestioned belief in a personal “I,” this sense of self takes on numerous qualities that set-up the second great human wound. Our personal self, by its nature, is protective, defensive, and self-cherishing (“I”- centered.) This is the ground from which emerge a host of afflictive and disturbing emotions such as fear, anxiety, competitiveness, doubt, shame, anger, desire, and so on. These disturbing emotions arise and fall with life’s circumstances but are an invariable consequence of the belief in a personal self and the lost awareness of who and what we truly are. This is not to suggest that we do not live many sweet and pleasurable moments. We do. But the belief in an individual and personal self assures that we cannot avoid the recurrence of afflictive emotions.

Together, these two human wounds are the basis for the restless mind. Don’t be fooled by the moments of calm that arise in response to passing interactions, circumstances, or relaxation techniques. They are not stable and will quickly devolve into restlessness.  A stable stillness is not built into the personal “I.” It is not a capacity of the ordinary mind. We may become quite skilled at inducing mental calm through one approach or another, one circumstance or another, and that is great, but it will never be a stable and pervasive stillness that is immune to outer circumstances.

A stable and pervasive stillness is an unchanging quality of the natural self that comes before and, although hidden by the dominance of our personal “I,” is always present and uncontaminated by past experience and history. To reveal this innermost self requires the decision to turn inward through meditative/contemplative practices, progressively diminish the emphasis on your personal “I,” and establish a lifestyle conducive to inner practice. When the inner life becomes your focus and joy, you will come to know the stable stillness and peace that surpasses understanding. And with that, you will also come to know the other sacred qualities of human flourishing. That is the true aim of meditation. And that is not a meditation. It is life.

                           As the wise teacher says:

                           Not knowing that this state is within one self,

                           How amazing that one searches for it elsewhere!

                           How amazing that so few see it.

So for a moment stop seeking to calm your mind and seek what is beyond. Close your eyes and drop into the expansive field of awareness that is open, spacious, free, and serene. It is right there, right now. You know it by heart. Mental chatter may naturally arise but merely ignore it. Don’t feed it with your attention. Let it come and go on its own. Drop out of your mind, out of your past history, out of your attention to mental movements and rest in your heart. Rest in the serenity, feel the stillness, experience the flow and spaciousness and be fully awake and present. That is who you are. That is a human being. And that stillness is pervasive and permanent.

                                      www.elliottdacher.org

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Gone Beyond

The primary aim of meditation is to go beyond the narrow confines of our ordinary self and experience the immensity of life’s possibilities. It is to free ourself from the tenacious grip of individualism and be born again into our full humanity.

Individualism, with its accompanying habitual and limiting patterns of perception, afflictive and disturbing emotions, ruminating mental chatter, automated reactivity, and an unquestioned false belief that we are this “personal self,” imprisons us in a narrow and contracted life. This does not reject the necessary intellectual and cognitive skills that support and allow us to navigate day-to-day life. Rather it highlights the dilemma of our personal learned psychology which chained to the past and projected into an imaginary future traps us in a tenacious individualism, denying us access to our essential humanity.

Our mentally constructed personal self does not come with birth. We are born as humans, not as individuals. We are born without distinctive names, personalities, patterns of thought and action. That is all acquired, learned. It is who we become, not who we truly are. And try as we do, utilizing an endless array of self-development strategies the personal self - including the improved version - cannot bring us to the authentic and natural serenity, freedom, wholeness, and compassion that is already and always available in our fundamental humanity. We know this by heart. We know there is more to life than what appears on the surface.

Our choice is simple. Either we live a lifetime cultivating the illusion that we are merely this limited individual self - filled with self-doubt, anxiety, fear, and narrowness of thought and action – or we awaken to the resilient eternal truth that there is more to life than our ordinary self can imagine. That knowing provokes us, if fortunate, to go beyond to another dimension, to our natural self, to our humanity. The mantra of the ancient Buddhist Heart Sutra reminds us over and over:

Gate, Gate, Paragate, Parasaṃgate, Bodhi Svaha

(Gone, Gone, Gone Utterly Beyond, Gone to the other Shore, Oh What an Awakening)

That “other” shore is our shore. The “otherness,” which lies beyond our recalcitrant individualism is our home, our true nature, our human being. Here we find our authentic and grace-giving self, which is seamlessly interwoven with serenity, joy, wisdom, love, and freedom. Beyond our fabricated man-made personal “I” lies the heart center of life.

In the western tradition The Oracle of Delphi conveys it as such:

                               Once you have touched it

                               There is no division:

                               No tearing your heart away

                               For it knows no separation.

How do we re-experience, sustain, and live our true and full humanity? How do we bring this “otherness” into daily life? First, we are told, become aware of your tenacious conditioning – your narrow habits of perception, learned reactivity, biased judgements, and interpretations, and then let go of this false learning. Do not feed these ghosts of times past with your attention. We are then asked to give up the clinging attachment to our constantly shifting identities and mental chatter. And finally, open our mind and heart to a clear and expansive perception/awareness, allowing the vitality of our essential truth, freedom, and “otherness” to be known, when you have disinvested from the unchallenged influence of your surface “I.” Then, rest in the stillness and all-knowing of your essential self, which is foundational and unchanging. Be satisfied with nothing less than who you are and have always been.

Is that difficult? Consider the words of Anais Nin:

                       And the day came

                       When the risk to remain tight in a bud

                       Was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

The alternative is indeed far more difficult. Enmeshed in daily existence, our vision turned outwards, we cannot observe the limitations of our personal “I.” The smaller cannot see the larger. Learned habits serve as thick veils obscuring truth. The cost to us is life itself. The imagined individual is “dead,” a mere reflection of the past. The human is a living thing.

Where do we begin. We begin at the end. We begin by simply and effortlessly dropping into our natural state of “flow,” presence, and being. There are many ways to accomplish this. We all know them through experience – an immersion in nature, selfless intimacy, uplifting art, beauty, music, dance, meditation, and so on. Each of these moments, however momentary, shares a similar dissolution of our personal self. These precious moments of selflessness, however fleeting, reveal the experience of our underlying natural self, flow, and basic humanity. For a precious moment we forget who we have become and experience who we have always been.

Rarely does one understand or recognize the total significance of these moments. It is essential not to take them as mere fleeting pleasures, serendipitous moments to grasp onto, possess, conceptualize, or merely relax into. That would be a costly error, an error that may be at the cost of your life. These fleeting glimpses are intimations of the “other,” of your natural self. When you drop into these moments stop, rest with awareness of this experience of flow and “otherness,” sense it, feel it, know it, and trust it as your essence. But don’t stop there.

If you recognize and cherish these spontaneous experiences as intimations of your authentic self, they may serve as a signpost or reminder, directing you towards time-tested approaches to re-claiming, stabilizing, and owning your essential human beingness. If you are fortunate in your deepest yearnings, these will no longer be mere fleeting pleasures. They will progressively endure as the unchanging essence of who you are.

So we rest in these moments when they naturally and spontaneously occur, recognizing them as our true self and devoting ourself to overcoming our individual self and re-experiencing ourself as a human being. We acknowledge the inner dialogue of our personal self that wants to pull us back to the old ways. “It is not possible to live from this space of beingness and presence.” “It is just a passing moment.” “Get back down to earth.” That’s our old voice, which is unwilling to surrender its authority to that which is greater. So we may need some mentoring, approaches, and practices that will slowly create accessibility, trust, and stability of our natural self.

We begin by cleaning up our psychological room. We become aware of our conditioning, our patterns, our reactivity, our afflictive emotions, and our ego-centricity, and progressively act from kindness, discernment, virtue, and stillness. Cleaning up your “room” will not take you to the “other,” but it will allow more of an opportunity to live with inner stillness, less conditioning, greater peace, and heart. And this ground will progressively open the possibility that moments of otherness will spontaneously appear and in time coalesce into a more sustained experience.

We explore this more intensively in formal meditation and progressively integrate it into daily life. We remember the precious glimpses, drop into them for moments here and there, bring clear awareness to the present experience, abandon what encourages your old life, and cultivate what supports your essential self, and finally - open your heart. Fallbacks will occur, but just get up, dust yourself off, and continue.

Slowly, or perhaps quite quickly, a time will surely come when what you have become will fade in importance and you will have gone beyond, far beyond, to the other shore, an awakening which is irreversible.

                                                       www.elliottdacher.org

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Do Not Believe You Are Who You Think You Are

Do Not Believe You Are Who You Think You Are   You are the imperishable, unchanging, timeless, and nameless essence of being. That experiential truth, however simple when touched, is unreachable by reason, knowledge, or the efforts of our ordinary “I.” It is thickly obscured by the deeply conditioned belief in our familiar ego-self. In actuality, the person we believe we are is a made-up mental construction stored in memory - an accumulation of past experiences, beliefs, habitual patterns, and conditioned reactivity. We are not born with this individual separate self. We are born as human “beings.” The personal self develops later and obscures who and what we truly are. The tenacious belief in a personal self is a disaster to our soul, spirit, communal life, and planet.   However obscured our true self may be, we all know that there is more to life than our day-to-experience. We’ve tasted it. We’ve had glimpses. We know it by heart. That is why we are seekers, seekers searching for a seemingly lost treasure that is none other than our authentic self. If we did not remember, in our most silent and sublime moments, we would not be seeking the serenity, joy, ease, and peace of a simple carefree presence and beingness – our essential unchanging self.   The problem is that we search in the wrong place. Cut off from the inner essence and source of our natural self, modern culture mistakenly points our search towards outer experiences – fame, name, success, materialism, sterile “spirituality,” sexuality, and so on. We are told that we can find what we are seeking in the world of “things” and “doings.” That can easily consume, and often does, a lifetime of searching. Searching in the wrong place the search is never over - just exhausting and disappointing. And the mantra of this futile outer search is “try harder,” “it’s around the corner.” But it's all to no avail. There are certainly moments of happiness and pleasure in this outer search, but like all other outer experiences, they are transient and destined to be lost. The unchanging essence we seek remains unrealized.   However, we can awaken to the recognition of our authentic self and bring an end to the personal distress that is an invariable part of our ordinary self. But for this, we must first look in the correct place, within. When the false belief that we are our personal self begins to fade and we catch increasing glimpses of an expansive, natural, and more serene self, we are ripe for transformation.   Then, meditation becomes quite simple. We spend a bit of time, if necessary, quieting and withdrawing our attention from random mental activity and settle into inner silence – an experience of awareness, observation, being, and presence. We don’t seek to suppress mental active, we merely cease to “log in” or “subscribe” to mental movements. We allow the movements of the mind to come and go, without comment, without attention, without elaboration.   The easeful stillness of awareness and presence is a transitional state between our personal self and natural self. It is not an end in itself. As we increasingly rest in a mere beingness and awareness, we gain increasing access to our authentic self, which is effortless, easeful, and natural. We can begin to observe its qualities and the absence of the usual mental disturbances and afflictions. It is a serene self, a state of unchanging well-being, wisdom, contentment, and true freedom.   Try this small experiment. Close your eyes, drop everything, and quiet your mind. Then ask yourself, without trying to answer with your usual mind, “Who AM I?” Let that question sit with you. You will find that this phrase is like a Zen Koan. You may go through various identities, gender, roles, and so on. But quickly you will notice that you are neither this or that, nor this or that. Stay with the question, “Who Am I?” When your conceptual mind exhausts itself,uselessly trying to find the true self, your mind will go silent. Stop, be present, and there it is. “Who Am I? I AM.” That’s it.   Of course the usual mind will seek to reassert its dominance. You know its voice, “This is only a meditation,” or “How can I live and relate from this space,” and so on. Observe that voice and let it go as well. Remember that all of the great spiritual and wise teachers lived from the inside, and far from their lives being passive, they greatly enhanced the human experience. True presence is a wise experience and profound healer.   So, I ask you to consider dropping the belief that you are your ordinary personal “I,” and look within for the one you have always been, the one that promises to be the gold you seek. This unchanging self will be a resilient self that will accompany you through all of the challenges of daily life, never losing touch with the oneness and sacredness of the whole of life. www.elliottdacher.org Aware, Awake Alive on Amazon

Tonglen

There is a traditional Buddhist Practice called Tonglen. You may know it by its English name – “Giving and Taking” or, “Sending and Receiving.” Its aim is the cultivation of selfless love and compassion. It can be done as a formal daily practice or at spontaneous moments during the day.

The details are simple to understand. We begin by imagining, in the mental field in front of us, the image of a loved one – traditionally one’s mother. We start with the aspiration, riding on the in-breath, that our loved one be free of suffering and the causes of suffering. We can further advance this to the sincere desire of taking upon our self the suffering of others, imagining dissolving it in our heart.

Similarly, with each out-breath we aspire that the other be happy and establish the causes of happiness. We can similarly advance this to the desire to give our happiness and the causes of our happiness to others, knowing that the source within cannot be depleted. This is the basic practice. Breathe out, breathe in, send love and happiness and receive suffering and the causes of suffering.

As mentioned, the practice traditionally begins with the image of one’s mother. Why mother? Because that is the foundational relationship of human intimacy, the essential first experience of selfless love and care, which serves as the primary basis of adult intimacy. Given that reality what person is more deserving of our gratitude, love, care, and selfless attention? So surely, by remembering the selfless love of mother, we can further cultivate love and compassion for others, maximizing the effect of this practice. To their surprise, as Eastern teachers introduced this practice to the West, they ran directly into an unexpected obstacle.

The moment the practice is explained hands go up – “not my mother.” “My mother was this and that,” which was invariably followed by a litany of complaints about mother’s indifferent, negligent, or abusive behavior that permanently “broke” the essential bond of mother/child intimacy - foreshadowing the adult intimacy issues so prevalent in the West. Recognizing this unique dilemma of modern life, a shift took place in how the practice was taught. Alternatively, the Western student is asked to begin the practice by remembering the kindness and care given by a special loved one or give rise to a state of inner quiet and inner well-being, and use either approach as the basis of the practice. The Western issue with mother is thus bypassed.

Let me now explain how I learned this practice in Asia. I learned Tonglen at a 10-day seminar at the Pullahari Monastary in the foothills of Kathmandu. As students, we met as a group 2 hours twice daily. For the first 4 days the teacher would review over and over the ways in which mother was kind and selfless. Little attention was given to the psychological limitations of an immature mother. The emphasis was on the life-giving response to the completely dependent child, which enabled our good fortune to attain adulthood.

He would begin each session recalling the decision, conscious or unconscious, to carry a child, and how this changed a mother’s life. He would then speak of the carrying of a growing child, difficulties of pregnancy, the delivery process, the sleepless nights, challenges of child rearing, and the inherent self-sacrifice over many years of child development, and finally the letting go when the time came. I will spare the very detailed and heartfelt descriptions he gave of this process. But, they were extensive, irrefutable, and heart-touching.

Each day after teachings we would return to our small room to contemplate the kindness and gratitude of our mother. My mother was an immigrant to this country, working 2 jobs as long as I can recall, navigating a difficult marriage, and doing the best to raise her children in a nuclear family. Intimacy was a psychological and logistical impossibility for her. It was only at the end of my mother’s life that some aspect of belated intimacy developed. Yet, I followed the teacher’s instructions. Every day, twice a day, my meditation practice was focused around recalling the elements of self-sacrifice, that to one extent or another are essential aspects of motherhood.

For the first day or two this was an intellectual practice, but then, something shifted, something began to open in my heart. I began to recognize the sacrifices that my “psychologically imperfect” mother did in fact make for my life, enabling a young first generation American to transition through the highly dependent years of infancy to become a physician early on and then gravitate to the mountains of the Himalayas to find the deeper sources of knowledge and healing. What a gift!

Could I have accomplished that without her? Could you have accomplished your life without the self-sacrifices of your mother and others? In my case, the answer was for me a resounding “no.” That is not an assertion of her perfection, far from that, but a realization of my total dependency on her for everything pre- and post-natal. And the fact that I am here today verifies that in her own imperfect way she met that dependency with care, as best as was possible given her circumstance.

By the fourth day of these instructions, reflection, and meditation, I began to feel tears of gratitude well up in my heart and trickle down my face. I began to appreciate, as never before, the extraordinary kindness and self-sacrifice of my mother, followed by father, sister, and others. This appreciation looked past the surface imperfections to the instinctual and good heart of every mother, however obscured it may have seemed at the time.

Once this was accomplished, we were then instructed to drop down into our heart and cultivate these feelings, allowing the recollection of kindness and self-sacrifice to morph into an expansive gratitude. With this achieved, we were then told that we were ready to begin the authentic practice of Tonglen.

We were to take in suffering and give out kindness from the essence of this cultivated heart feeling. Nothing made-up here. The sequence begins with our most cherished ones, moves to unknown others, to those we perceive as difficult, and finally to all of humanity. We begin, of course with mother.

That is how I learned to practice Tonglen and re-immerse myself in the positivity of my mother’s imperfect efforts. I learned to see with gratitude the core of goodness whose care was life-sustaining, and the best possible given their capacities and circumstances. I no longer had to contrive or fabricate the depth of gratefulness and heart that is at the basis of this authentic practice.

I would like to make two comments regarding differences, East and West, that to some extent explain the issues discussed above. First, traditionally in the East children are raised by a large extended family. There is always someone around for a hug, reassurance, listening, and providing. Such an extended community provides a stable and loving childhood. In contrast, in modern times it is very difficult for a mother or a unit of mother and father to offer the same. Although the intention of selfless parenting may be the same, the inevitable consequences of the stressful environment of modern parenting allows little support for the exhausted, psychologically youthful and over-extended parent.

A second point I wish to raise is what I would call Western psychology’s demonization of motherhood. To me this is a devastating side-effect, rarely discussed, that profoundly impacts on the problems of adult intimacy. In the East the mother is deeply respected and honored for her role, irrespective of what must at times be less than perfection. This allows for the honoring and preservation of this initial and profound first intimacy.

In the West, it’s my observation that mother is held responsible for many adult difficulties and lacks the deep regard and honor given in the East. The cost of this demonization of motherhood, is in my view, deeply felt individually and culturally. These two factors may account for the difficulty in this practice taking authentic hold in the West.

Perhaps there is a lesson in this telling. None of us has reached the pinnacle of psychological health. We all suffer our past history. Perhaps it may yet be possible for each of us to look back, look beyond the psychological immaturity of our loved ones and open our wisdom and heart to the deeper love and selflessness that resides within the essential essence of each of us and is especially embodied in the motherly response to the total dependency of our life before, in, and out of the womb. This is not to justify psychological abuse, but rather to free us into a deeper capacity for forgiveness, gratitude, and intimacy on our path to a larger life and health. It is that attitude the primes the powerful practice of Tonglen.

How to do a Retreat

How to Create a Retreat

In these challenging times, fortunate individuals have an unexpected opportunity to turn their attention inward and listen in silence to life’s inner callings. For those who seek larger understandings, it is customary to routinely retreat from outer activity and mental clutter. Perhaps it is a short daily meditation, a longer silent retreat, related reading, or a vision quest. It is at such moments that we can mindfully listen and receive guidance from the natural rhythms and wisdom of life. It is how wise teachers and religious figures chose to align themselves with sacred harmony and deeper knowledge. It is in that inner silence that truth and wholeness are finally revealed to the earnest seeker.

Staying in one place and slowing down one’s “doings” is a consistent requirement of retreat. Although traditionally motivated by a personal longing for meaning and essence, today we are further enabled by a virus-forced mandate. That is where we are, and where we will be for a time to come. So why not grasp this opportunity?

To assist you in using this time well, I would like to share with you three types of retreat: outer, inner, and innermost. I hope this information will motivate you to create an in-home retreat, right where you are, right now. You can begin after reading these few words.

Outer Retreat

An outer retreat occurs when we establish the external conditions that are conducive to an inner and innermost retreat. As a result of the current restrictions that now shape daily life, creating an outer retreat is a bit easier. We are already set-off from the usual activities and distractions of daily life. So we begin by resisting the habit of filling newly found “free time” with more “stuff,” recreating our usual busyness. That’s a familiar pattern that runs deep in our psyche. Be aware of this mental habit when it arises. Watch it and let it go. There are deeper and more important longings and possibilities to now attend to.

Next, as best you can, bring harmony into your outer life. Your living space should be inviting to your soul and spirit, heart-warming, soft, and facilitate inner time. Meals can be prepared in peace and solitude. Harmony can prevail in relationships. Consider creating a special “sacred space” in your house for meditation and self-reflection. Some set-up a small table in a spare room upon which to place important photos, candles, or objects of a spiritual nature. That can bring a special sense of stillness and inspiration. Think of the energy, sweetness, and peace of nature, a religious space, or a meditation room. The cultivation of that essence is how we create an outer retreat that facilitates harmony of body, mind, and spirit.

Inner Retreat

Inner retreat is the formal time we use for daily meditation practice, as well as the informal time we are in a meditative space during daily activities. The aim of inner retreat is to rest in the stillness of mind rather than the usual mental commentary. Our formal sessions begin, particularly in times such as this, by giving rise to compassion and care for those who are suffering in difficult circumstances. I suggest as one possibility reciting the Bodhissattva Prayer written by Shantideva in the 900s. I will offer a link below. However, you can cultivate a compassionate attitude in whatever manner most suits you.

The next step in inner retreat is calming the mind. We begin with calming methods, using what you already know that works for you. I am linking below a 10-session audio recording that might assist you. The first 3 sessions focus on approaches to calming the mind. It doesn’t so much matter how you calm the mind, but that you calm it and then rest in the stillness that underlies mental chatter. Mind-talk will inevitably arise, but that doesn’t mean you cannot stay calm in the midst of background noise. You can. Disregard the pull of your usual mind. Allow mental activity to come and go on its own. Allow the usual mental commentary to play itself out. But you, you, remember who you are. The one who is aware, who observes, is still, and fully aware. You are not your thoughts, beliefs, and mental commentary.

What is the aim of an inner retreat? The aim is to empty our mind of afflictive/disturbing emotions, experience the peace and serenity of a calm mind, cultivate the capacity to remain emotionally stable in challenging circumstances, and allow an open space for new insights regarding self, reality, and life directions to naturally and spontaneously arise. As we continue this daily inner retreat, we will recognize its value and realize that even in the midst of outer turbulence there can be inner stability and strength. That is the essence of an inner retreat, we retreat into a calm, clear, alert, and peaceful mind.

Innermost Retreat

The final stage of retreat is an innermost retreat. I am sorry to say that this is the most difficult to convey in words, as to know it, you must experience it directly. Much as you cannot know the actual taste of a Mango by merely listening to a description of it, you cannot know the actual nature of an innermost experience without tasting the center of your being. However, I’ll do the best I can to point you in that direction.

There is an experience, an experience of the innermost and most expansive ground of our being, that we can call spirit, essence, natural self, true self, empty-awareness, or any one of the many names that refer to it. It contains and gives rise to all other levels of experience. One can say it is the ground of our being, a place of isness, thatness, beingness, or pure presence. It just is. When great teachers are asked what it is, they mysteriously answer “It is that.” That’s not much of an answer, because there isn’t an answer. When you experience it, you will know.

Yet, the good news is that we have all experienced our innermost being at one time or another. Whenever we experience the loss of a sense of personal self and its preoccupations, we experience life in that moment as an easy flow. We taste the expansiveness and pervasiveness of peace, and joy. We can catch a glimpse during when we “lose” our usual self in dance, music, art, meditation, yoga, exercise, nature, intimacy, and so on. These moments are usually considered lovely serendipitous experiences. They come and go with a smile. In contrast, what we seek in retreat is an intentional and increasingly stable meeting with our innermost self.

There is no particular effort or practice you can use to directly access this innermost presence. The best you can do is to remove the obstacles, experience a longing and desire to return to your inner home, and allow for grace. So you don’t “do” an innermost retreat, you let go and allow it to happen. Your efforts towards inner development enhance the probability that you will touch this natural self. And let’s remember, we are not visitors to this innermost place. It is who we are. Resting in the ground of our being is the innermost retreat.

So we begin retreat with an intention and commitment based on the understanding that outer experiences as well as mental experiences are transient. We realize the fatigue of a life spent searching for our self in perishable experiences. Increasingly, we trust that the only sustaining experience is the unchanging nature of our true self, our true nature. We cultivate a harmonious outer environment that supports retreat. That is followed by calming the mind through meditation practice and resting in stillness and serenity. This inner retreat can at any time spontaneously open into an innermost retreat, revealing the essential nature of our natural essence and self – the truth of our existence. If not, we feel blessed and enriched with what we have learned and experienced.

Some final words - start simply, be patient, do not attach to expectations, and appreciate the here and now of meditation practice and retreat. And add a dash of discipline.

I do hope that this short description of the three aspects of retreat allows you to wisely use this in-between time. Perhaps you will then find the precious gold that is often most accessible at times of great adversity.

                                        Free 10-Session Audio Meditation Training

                                                   www.elliottdacher.org

                                            Aware, Awake, Alive at Amazon

Quarantine or Retreat

What can we learn at times such as this? How can we transform a catastrophic circumstance into an opportunity for self and others? Is it possible to embrace the inevitable challenges and difficulties of human existence that threaten life and emerge wiser, more loving, and alive? These are some of the great spiritual questions that throughout time have engaged humankind.

Seen from one perspective, human life is a folly. Fraught with lifelong challenges and ending with the pain and struggle of disease, aging, and death. So what, we rightfully ask, is the meaning and purpose of life? How is it to be lived? Is there a “way out” of this dilemma that binds us together in the difficult effort of finding serenity and purpose in what seems like a cryptic and unchosen human fate?

Throughout time and across diverse cultures humankind, enmeshed in physical existence, has searched for a remedy. In modern times we have been conditioned to go down the path of outer accomplishment – name, fame, affluence, achievement, transitory pleasures, and so on. But temporary distraction and relief is not a permanent remedy to the reality that all things material are perishable and will certainly be lost to the invariable of change - ego and body included. There is no exception granted here. It may seem an endless and futile effort, leading to exhaustion and final failure. And even our efforts to temper this seeming fate with “healthy” approaches – relaxation-based meditation, physical yoga, fitness, nutrition, psychological development, and so on – help, but miss the point. The fundamental shift that heals has not yet been taken.

I would like to break the flow here to speak about my last few months. I planned time away from my usual home to be near my children and grandchildren. I expected to meet new friends, attend gatherings, and enjoy a variety of activities. But something very different happened that is difficult to convey in words. I noticed after a few weeks that I was spending much time alone and was losing interest in the “outer” world and its activities. I began to meditate more, read, write, and listen online to teachers that touch my soul. What is becoming of me, I thought – a hermit? To be honest, I was a bit concerned.

And yet I was deeply serene and happy for no apparent reason. I was touching, it seemed, an inner something that although unnamable and indescribable, seemed hardy, reliable, unchanging, and life-sustaining. I can’t tell you exactly what this deeper “something” is, although many have given it names. So perhaps I can call it a deeper more authentic sense of self. It felt quite real, stable, and precious. It took me more than month to realize that something, perhaps aging and its difficult and unavoidable questions, had thrust me out of worldly activities and unknowingly into an unsuspected retreat – not withdrawal from danger, unless one’s ego delusions are considered an enemy rather than a teacher. But, rather a pull, or push, towards something within that seemed the only meaningful and trustworthy response to my human existence.

Regardless of common belief that faith is an excess of religious thinking, I found that faith was unexpectedly there in my inner travels. How can you journey inward towards what in modern times seems invisible, immaterial, and unreal without faith? And, yet that is the nature of consciousness and the inner source of healing. It cannot be known through the senses. It can only be known through heart and faith. And so here it was that I was encountering an “acceptable” and essential faith in an essence that seemed very real, although invisible in common terms.

My time away ended abruptly as I chose to return home when the realities of a runaway virus became evident. And, it was then that I realized that the forces of life, unsought and unchosen, had landed myself and all of us into an unexpected solitude and retreat, offering a unique and once-in-a-lifetime forced withdrawal from outer “doings.” Please understand that I am not romanticizing the challenges and suffering that this imposes on many, but rather looking at what we can gain as humans from what is.

Serendipitously, I began re-reading the Bhagavad Gita, the holy Hindu text in which the god Krishna, Arjuna’s charioteer, teaches Arjuna, the leader of an army, about the true nature of life and existence right there on the battlefield moments before the battle begins. That is where we are – on the battlefield in the midst of a great challenge. We are now forced to stop our doings. And, if we see the opportunity we have been thrust into, we can allow ourselves to sit still, rest and relax, surrender to what is, look within, and explore the invisible and life-sustaining dimensions of our deeper self.

If we can stop watching the news, let go of electronic distractions, embrace with heart the care of others, and surrender to the great challenge that confronts us, much as Arjuna, we will have gained the most precious of all gifts. We will touch into the immense and simple beauty of presence, the irrefutable realization of our inter-connectedness, and the unchanging immortal nature of soul and spirit. We will have won the only true battle – the battle between light and dark – a battle that can only be one at the level of soul and spirit.

With a small tweak, chosen or forced, our attention can shift inwards. And, that makes all the difference.

Some Simple Suggestions:

• Surrender to the reality of what is. We never had the level of control our ego deluded us into believing. Let go. Let be
• Find a small space in your house that can be your sacred space for quiet, reflection, and meditation.
• Schedule time each day, preferably in the morning, to be still, meditate, self-reflect. Allow yourself to “do” nothing. It’s OK.
• Listen to inspirational videos by a teacher or religious figure that touches your soul and spirit.
• Set time aside for inspirational reading.
• Engage in regular physical activity and wholesome nutrition.Have faith that there is a mystery unfolding that can teach and transform.
• And last, but actually first, care for others. Selfless service opens the heart.

Can you turn one room or space in our home into a meditator’s cave, a monastery, or a seminary? If so, self-isolation and quarantine can become sacred retreat. We may never have chosen retreat, but in a cryptic way it’s been forced upon us. Please use it.

                                                     www.elliottdacher.org

                              Aware, Awake, Alive at Amazon

Meditation, Transcendence, and Psychedelics

                 Meditation, Transcendence, and Psychedelics

Unless you bite into a Mango, you cannot know its actual taste, regardless of the number of ways it’s been explained to you. It’s like that with the transcendent state of consciousness. Try as one can, it can only be known through direct personal experience. Explanations just won’t do.

However, let’s try as best we can to point towards it with words. The transcendent state of consciousness is a non-sensory experience. It is a non-ordinary experience. It can neither be experienced or known through our senses, nor through our usual intellectual capacities. It is an inner, personal, “invisible” experience. Words that point towards it include: transpersonal, timeless, infinite, wholeness, natural, all-embracing, essential being, pure perception, final truth, sacred, and divine. Although these words point towards a transcendent consciousness, they are not themselves the experience. So how do we move towards this pinnacle of human consciousness? Let’s consider three ancient, timeless, and reliable doorways – religion, meditation, and psychedelic botanicals.

When I speak about religion, I do so in the manner of two great contemporaries who lived in the late 19^th century – the physician and psychiatrist William James and the great Russian novelist Leo Tolstoy. I refer my reader to James’ Varieties of Religious Experiences and to Tolstoy’s Confessions. James and Tolstoy sought to discover the common and unchanging essence of diverse religions. James called this essence the “religious mind.” Religious frameworks may differ, he noted, but the essential experience is the same. This transcendent, sacred, and “religious mind” replaces ego-centered identity as the natural foundation of moral guidance, universal love, and profound wisdom. It is the timeless and illusive “more to life.” It is the essence of our being. It is the truth of who we are.

Meditation is a series of methods that similarly points our attention inward towards that same “religious mind.” The first aim of meditation is to calm the overactive and mind and assist in cultivating a healthy human life. That is a progressive process that “cleans up” our usual egoic behavior, allowing for a more peaceful, happy, and fulfilling life, while simultaneously establishing a basis for its final aim. That is a major achievement in itself. Yet there is more. The second and final aim of meditation, which we are addressing here, takes us further. It points us towards and facilitates a personal and direct experience of the ultimate truth of self and reality. That special knowledge becomes the foundation and touchstone of a fully lived human life. It shows up in daily life as the attainment of the qualities of human flourishing – wisdom, serenity, happiness, love, and freedom. It is precisely what we have called the transcendent “religious mind.”

The use of plant-based psychedelics, ingested with the right mindset and in the right setting, allows individuals to rapidly touch into this same transcendent state. Like meditation and religious practices, this is an age-old practice. Grounded in cultural values and communal support, the use of these botanicals has long served to connect day-to-day life to a deeper knowledge and related spiritual insights. These unique plant substances can facilitate a rapid dissolution of ego boundaries and the emergence of an unconditioned state of pure awareness and perception. That state of being, that deeper knowing, touches into the depths and profundities of the human experience and is accompanied by an undeniable sense of clarity and certainty. Once again, it’s a taste of the transcendent “religious mind.”

Although psychedelic-facilitated experiences rapidly open the door to transcendent states and spiritual knowledge, it is the ongoing attention to inner development that stabilizes and integrates these realizations. We recognize in our “quick taste” the limitations of an ego-based life, but, unless we engage in an ongoing process of self-growth and self-realization we will find great difficulty in avoiding the ego’s tenacious and gravitational pull. We may realize the impermanence of all sensory-based phenomena, including our thought process, but we will be unable to infuse daily life with the implications of this insight unless we engage in a process that integrates and stabilizes this understanding. We may realize profound spiritual insights, such as the direct experience of oneness, wholeness, and universal love, but we will be unable to “spiritualize” our daily life without a continued effort towards self-growth. That continued effort is the role and place of meditation and is at the core of all great religious traditions. Without such ongoing support we may find great difficulty in sustaining the fullness of our precious transcendent realizations.

As mentioned, the transcendent spiritual experience can only be known by looking directly at and learning from your immediate personal experience. It is right there for you to see! That is called first-person direct “knowing.” The knowledge thus gained is a result of spontaneous revelation, direct seeing – an “aha” experience of sorts. The most a teacher or learned writings can do is “point out” what is not truth. In this way, your curiosity and awareness can simultaneously be pointed towards ultimate truth. As an example, consider the following pointing, “Close your eyes and “look” at the ego self, the ordinary self. Does it have a color, shape, form, size, mass, or sound? Look again, search again. Is it inside or outside? Does it have a location? Do you have one identity, or multiple identities? Is there one you or multiple selves? If after looking and looking you cannot find a specific “I,” rest in that non-finding and experience the nature of that experience.” That is one brief example of how the individual is pointed towards direct experience by dissembling the delusion of a permanent and findable “ego-I,” over and over again.

Aside from accessing the core of the “religious mind,” through the means we have discussed, there are many other ways to momentarily touch the grace of this state of being. These include: beauty, nature, music, dance, ritual, breathing exercises, sacred architecture, writings, prayer, touch, devotion, and so on. In each instance, when the thinking mind ceases, stillness ensues, and the openness and flow of a transcendent consciousness reveals itself. However, unless one realizes that what has been touched is our precious and ever-present natural human state – a state-of-being that is independent of the immediate stimulus – we will become attached to the stimulus and miss what it points towards. We will have had the experience, but missed its meaning.

Meditation as a “therapeutic” relaxation technique misses the mark. Psychedelics as recreational experiences miss the mark. Religion as a ritualized practice misses the mark. And, fleeting glimpses fail to recognize the significance of what has been experienced. When one touches a transcendent state of being, irrespective of the stimulus, we must pause, bring our awareness to the experience itself, rest in it, taste it, and directly “know it.” To integrate and sustain these experiences, we must create the life conditions that support this foundational state-of-being and undertake practices that assist us to access, stabilize, and integrate long term what has been momentarily revealed to us by Grace. Otherwise, it will fade into memory as just “one of those pleasant ephemeral experiences.”

Why is it so important for us to aspire towards the state of simple being and presence which we have called the transcendent state, the “religious mind?” Why has this been essential for humanity across time and diverse cultures? Try as we may, we will discover, as have our ancestors, that reason alone cannot provide – through its science, philosophy, and organized traditions – an understanding of life that sustains and elevates itself through the challenges and sufferings of human life. Nor can reason provide direct and accurate guidance as to the character of a well lived life. And finally, reason alone is not a reliable basis for a joyful, serene, wise, and selfless life. Reason and rationality, we discover, are very valuable, but limited tools. They enable us to understand material life, organize it, and exert some level of control in an ever-changing world.

But to live with sustained meaning and joy that sustains itself through life’s challenges, we must know more. We most know something invisible to our senses. We must know something other. We must move beyond the limited consciousness and perceptual capacities that constitute our ordinary life. Only then can we learn from the full extent of our consciousness and deliberately use that extended awareness and knowledge to create a life and world deserving of our deepest humanity.  

For this, we look with faith toward an inner knowing – non-cognitive, non-linear, and invisible to the senses – which alone can reveal what reason cannot know. We turn inwards towards the invisible knowledge of heart and soul. We turn toward James’ “religious mind,” towards a transcendent aspect of consciousness. That deeper knowing and expansive consciousness can connect our finite life to the infinite, our separateness to the whole, and an unanswered existential uneasiness to a profound and stable serenity.

And if we are so connected, the worldly manifestation of this interconnected wholeness will show up as a deep concern for others, a simple kindness and care for other, as if other is oneself. With that wisdom, heart, and love we may finally find, as did our ancestors, that a direct knowledge of the simple truth of our being can transform our personal and collective lives. And,  this alone can bring a certain end to individual distress, global strife, famine, and planetary destruction.

                                     www.elliottdacher.org

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Cleansing the Doors of Perception

If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is: Infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things thro' narrow chinks of his cavern.  …. William Blake

Whether it is Blake’s cavern, Plato’s cave, or the modern-day version of our contracted lives, we all seek more from life. We seek sustained happiness, wisdom, and human flourishing. We look for it down the dark alleys, seek it in the sunlight of outer achievements, mourn and attach to its fleeting visits - chase it we do, but, over time, it always seems to outrun our efforts. That is the human longing for the immutable joyful essence of life. Though out the ages and across diverse cultures individuals have universally sought to realize this treasured human possibility. And, it is no different with ourselves.

Individuals and cultures have sought the fullness of human potential in various ways. To name a few - shamanism, religious experience, mysticism, meditation, devotional practices, service, and entheogens among others. Each of these doorways has a singular aim – to cleanse the doors of perception that obscure a larger life. When this “cleaning” occurs, we are once again able to see self and life as it is with unfettered and unobscured perception and awareness. That clarity of “seeing” reveals our natural home and the foundational and unchanging truth of self and reality. And that is the healing that ends all human suffering and leads to sustainable joy.

Of what must our perception be cleansed to see the truth of self and life? What has so narrowed and obscured our vision that we can no longer see beyond the boundaries of our learned idea of who we are? We are born into a human body with a sense of self that is a mere presence, an awareness that sees what is as is without the shaping and influence of conditioning of acquired history. But, from our original pristine consciousness emerges our name and personality, our egoic sense of “I.” We have personal experiences that are committed to memory. We acquire habits and perceptual patterns that shape how and what we experience. We develop ideas, opinions, beliefs, and judgements. Our collected lifetime learnings, called our ordinary “I” or ego self, becomes the world through which we interpret experience and react. All of our experiences are by necessity filtered through this acquired worldview. We learn to live in our bounded world – called a personal prison by those who know better - as if that was the only possibility. We live from youth on with the false belief and certainty that this is who we actually are, rather than who we have become. And that illusion of lifelong conditioning, is what obscures perception and a view of the good, the true, and the beautiful - our natural state of being.

What happens when the cleansing takes place and we can once again see self and world as they naturally are? What happens when the ego structure fades from view and what the neuroscientists call “the neural default mode” is deactivated? What happens when our “person” our personal sense of self with all of its past history and ideas fades from view, losing its shaping influence? When this occurs, the clear eyes of perception and awareness once again reveal themselves, as if cleansed of the obscurations and shaping influences of ego and its history. What we see is precisely the same world we saw before, but with a purity of perception and awareness uninfluenced by history and ideations. And that change in perception, that ability to see self and the world precisely as it is, rather than as a fabricated personalized world shaped by our inner stories, is the difference between heaven and hell, suffering and freedom, pleasure and spontaneous unchanging joy.

The world as it is is what Plato called the “good, beautiful, and true.” It has also been named the Tao, Christ nature, Buddha nature, Satchitananda, Nirvana, Satori, Heaven and the endless other names that seek without success to name the unnamable, which can only be known through direct experience. All of these signifiers refer to the “religious mind” – the simple, unfettered, and natural mind that the famed psychologist William James realized was a precious and cherished experience, arising across time and cultures. This profound experience, available to all and free from cultural or institutional shaping is indeed a “religious mind.” Our very nature, just as it is, is sacred and divine.

Self and life are finally seen as they actually are - with awe, enchantment, sacredness, and a radical aliveness. What is so extraordinary is the ordinariness of it all. No complexity, just a simple being and presence that has always been there, but as adults has been filtered out by the confines of our limited self. Whatever method or grace reveals this profound experience of life, that glimpse may. at first be ephemeral, as the tenacious grip of the ego structure seeks to take over once again. But one of the characteristics of this experience is that there is a personal and unchanging certainty that arises, which over time, even when only retained in memory, withstands the assaults of logic or the ephemeral nature of this glimpse. One is unshakeable in the conviction that one has touched the truth of life and the essence of living, and that is how it is.

The experience within when the reality of self and life is experienced with clear perception is still, silent, and easeful as the world continues to move in its usual ways. Consider T.S. Eliot’s words from the Four Quartets:

“At the still point of the turning world. Neither flesh nor fleshless;
Neither from nor towards; at the still point, there the dance is ….
Except for the point, the still point,
There would be no dance, and there is only the dance.”

When we rest in the still point of pure awareness and pure perception, aware but undisturbed by the movements of life – inner and outer, we are in the dance, the dance of life - and that is being alive and awake. A simple yet profound grace and blessing.

Some may ask, “How can we live in the world from such peace and stillness? My answer is simple and twofold. First, “Can you tell me how we live in the world through our contracted ego?” Not well. As the teacher J. Krishnamurti said, “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” And second, consider those who have lived from these truths – those of fame known as Buddha, Christ, and Ghandi and others whose names we don’t know. They have all changed the world for the better. We will long remember their gifts– their gifts of informed wise love and action. Wisdom and pure awareness is not passivity. It is an empowered life that heals.

There are many methods and paths that help us arrive at this experiential truth of living. Some individuals rely on a specific time-tested path that leads towards this realization - several have already been mentioned above. Others gain a glimpse through particular life experiences: dance, music, art, intimacy, service, nature, and so on. In the latter instances individuals often do not know the significance of what they have touched. They only realize that they have touched a fleeting sense of oneness, joy, and inner peace. But to know the real significance of these glimpses and to use them as a powerful motivation to gain greater insight and freedom is an essential next step, if these glimpses are to be much more than a pleasant entertaining experience.

A special note here should be made regarding the entheogens, or psychedelic botanicals. When used with proper preparation, intention, guidance, and sacredness these natural botanicals have for millennia served individuals and influenced religious traditions through their ability to cleanse the doors of perception and open “the religious mind”- the mind that can see the truth of the enchanted and divine nature of self and life. As these entheogens become increasingly available for personal and medical use, we must remember their fundamental action – they, however briefly, cleanse the doors of perception and provide us with an opportunity to taste and rest in the good, the true, and the beautiful. Stability and full integration of these glimpses requires ongoing inner growth.

What is first experienced  as a “glimpse” must become our life. It is the essence of who we are. As we stabilize our deeper self, all of the positive qualities and virtues that we cultivate in day-to-day life arise spontaneously in our natural and essential self. They are seamlessly interwoven with our basic nature and appear in their full fruition as we gain stability in our essential self of intrinsic awareness.  Fleeting happiness and pleasure arise as unchanging joy without a reason. Relaxation and inner peace arise as the peace that surpasses understanding. Knowledge and information arise as a non-cognitive all-seeing wisdom. Ordinary and well-meaning compassion arises as an all-encompassing compassion devoid of self-interest. Love arises as unconditional and selfless being. And political and social freedom give way to the greatest freedom – freedom from the known, from the past, from fixed perceptions and tenacious reactive patterns. We are free to see what is as is and to live in the radical beauty of each passing moment. These, and more, are the gifts of cleansing the doors of perception.

Do not believe that these possibilities are beyond your capacity. If you hold this belief to be true, it will define you. It is a false belief. You were born with these qualities, and they are there right now, this very moment. Just a little tweak and you will experience them. You have accomplished far more difficult ambitions. You can as well accomplish the supreme triumph of a lifetime, living in the truth and light of who you are. Yes, it may take a good mentor, study, the patience of dropping in and out, but if you persist you will win the gold for yourself and for a world desperate for healing.

                                                          www.elliottdacher.org

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“Where is now, the glory and the dream?”

                                          “Where is now, the glory and the dream?”

These words of the poet, William Wordsworth, touch deeply what T.S. Eliot called our “dry cellar.” Our dry cellar, the absence of a vibrant inner life, shows up in a variety of familiar emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. These include boredom, doubt, confusion, meaninglessness, depression, suicide, addiction, urgency, restlessness, endless striving, dissatisfaction, ennui, and on. Where in modern times is the barely remembered “glory and the dream?”

A poignant sense of the subtle absence of an intangible something more to life, touches all of us. The busier we keep our self the more hidden it is, but when our psychology or physiology finally falters or fails us, as it will, there is an unexpected gap in our life, and it is then that we are most likely to experience the void that underlies our restless and busy lives.

Irrespective of personal circumstance, history, or culture, humankind longs for the sweet essence which exists beyond the veil of day-to-day life, its transient pleasures, and endless activity. That is our existential condition. We know there is something more to life, beyond our worldly activities and achievements that is hidden from daily sight. Hidden, that is, except for an indelible memory that quietly beckons us towards what is larger and holds greater meaning - a lost home we silently and barely remember.

The young child for whom all of life, in the poet’s words, is bathed in “celestial light” is blessed for a brief period of time (actually the longest of all mammals) to be cared for and protected by others. For this brief moment of innocence, the child, free of worldy pulls and stifling conventions, is able to experience and sustain a simple curiosity, unconditioned awareness, spontaneous delight, natural awe, and full presence in the moment, what the poet calls the glory and the dream. The young naively experiences the essence of what eludes the adult.

In time, the exigencies of worldly life begin their slow closing down of this celestial garden of life. Aldous Huxley refers to this as a “reducing valve” that inexorably narrows our conscious experience to what is essential for safety, protection, “success,” and the conduct of day-to-day life.

In time we learn to live within the constraints of culture, to adopt its mores, narrow our vision, produce, and achieve. The wonder and awe of childhood is contracted into a narrow ego structure, our day-to-day “I,” with which we live our lives, seeking to survive and prosper in the outer world.

This is a necessary chapter, or perhaps aspect, of human life. Our personal ego structure serves as the framework and reference point for daily life. It contains our beliefs, identities, perceptual habits, reaction patterns, assimilated values, and judgments. It becomes who and what we are - our day-to-day home, a utilitarian life, for good and difficult. It guides us in navigating the outer world. The cost paid is considerable, as our natural home becomes a distant memory.

What we are left with is our day-to-day life and world sprinkled with its recurring transient pleasures and satisfactions, loses and longings. Let me clarify that this is not to devalue the potential beauty and significance of daily life. It is only to note that it simultaneously and deceptively obscures the glory and nobility of our full human possibility.

And further, our day-to-day activities and ordinary sense of “I” fail to offer us a stabilizing vision and experience that can sustain us when our psychology and physiology fail us, as they will in time. Only an expansive vision of Self and life will allow us to create high level well-being in daily life and the capacity to traverse the great and unavoidable existential challenges of human life.

Let’s explore this profound yet natural home of “presence and being.” At least we will then know it when we touch it. The great American psychologist, William James, called the adult experience of our natural home a “religious experience,” a touch beyond the ordinary into the transcendent life, a touch into the essence of who and what we are.

This human experience is mostly hidden from common view and cannot be revealed or sustained through effort or will. We have all touched this fullness of being - through an immersion in nature, beauty, art, dance, music, intimacy and other activities in which we briefly “lose” our ordinary sense of self. But it’s likely we’ve thought these glimpse are only serendipitous occurrences, destined to leave as mysteriously as they arrived. Few will recognize it as who and what we really are at the center of our being.

Except for a fortunate few, this touch may be only a transient glimpse of your essence. Let’s take a closer look. In its partial or full experience, what James called the “religious experience” - irrespective if you are a monotheist, atheist, or pantheist” - is characterized by: 1) the dissolution of ego – the loss of the solid and autonomous sense of personhood, 2) the experience of wholeness, oneness, and completeness, 3) timelessness, 4) a profound gratitude and embrace of all, 5) a sense of certainty that one has touched the essence and final reality of existence and self, and 6) the realization of its ineffability, the inability to communicate this experience in common language. These are the universal markers of a religious, transcendent, or mystical experience. When you experience a “peak” experience of this nature, from whatever causes and however unexpectedly, note the presence of one or more of these universal characteristics. They will likely be transient, but do not mistake their transience for their essential truth and revelation.

Except for a few, most of us are meant to return through the “reducing valve” of consciousness into the narrower framework of ordinary life. We may have experienced some or all of these qualities for varying periods of time, usually very briefly. Although these experiences fade in intensity over time, they are often retained in memory as an indelible truth. Over time they serve as a signpost of the ineffable larger possibilities of life. For many these glimpses may result in long term changes in perception, well-being, compassion, and consciousness. That is the gift, the blessing, the grace of such visitations.

You may ask, “What now?” “What do I do with this information?” It’s a question I ask myself as well. First, know that the unacknowledged but insistent longing for more in the midst of day-to-day life may not be, as it may as it first appear, a lack of accomplishment in ordinary terms or an absence of transient sources of pleasure. Rather, it is more likely a calling from the depths, that gently yet persistently seeks to remind you of who and what you truly are, of the you that has no name.

Second, know with certainty that these glimpses, that occur when you lose your ordinary self and reveal your natural self, are real, truthful, and increasingly accessible with intention, effort, and grace. Do not be deceived into shrugging them off as serendipitous and illusory experiences. “That was great, but what does it have to do with me?” It has everything to do with you. It is you. Summon forth the courage and fearlessness to live in your truth and reality. T.S. Eliot asserts that humans can bear very little reality. Is that you?

Third, know that you must prepare yourself as an embodiment capable of stabilizing and living from your heavenly garden. That preparation is described in all great traditions: the 10 commandments of the monotheistic traditions, the 8 fold way or 6 perfections of the Buddhist path, the naturalism of the Tao, the 8 fold path of yoga, and so forth. The cultures are different but the essence of these directions is the same – establish an ethical and loving life in your day-to-day existence, cultivate virtue, and abandon non-virtuous behavior. Such a life prepares mind and body to live from the essence of your being.

Fourth, respect daily life and the ego structure that enables you to live human life on a day-to-day level. That is far different than investing in the over-sized, defensive, protective, and self-cherishing ego. It is using our intelligence, factual knowledge, capacities and skills to live a good and virtuous life and cultivate loving relationships. This reduced aspect of consciousness, our ego structure, serves day-to-day life, but it should not define who and what we are. Our center or reference point should progressively become our natural self. We live daily life with the healthy capacities and skills of our developed and acquired “I.” But our natural state is always in the background, sourcing all with the serenity, wisdom, and compassion that is seamlessly interwoven into our authentic being.

Finally. We must pursue a daily path that will stabilize both a virtuous life and our natural self. This will enable serendipitous glimpses of our true self to slowly stabilize and progressively become the touch stone of our life. There is no single path, but there are paths that are time-tested. You must carefully choose for yourself.

Meditation and contemplative practices flow through, in one form or another, most of the great traditions. They prepare and take one towards the essence of who and what we are. It must be evident from my sharing that meditation is not about relaxation or accommodating to the unhealthy aspects of day-to-day life. Its two aims are first, creating a healthy human life and second, living that life from a deeper knowledge and experience of who and what we truly are.

Ultimately that requires that meditation aim at a direct experience of our authentic “self” and the ultimate nature of reality. A still mind is the pre-requisite. Direct experience, non-duality, and an open and unconditioned awareness are the characteristics of such a meditation. Once the mind is relatively still, we go directly to essence, to the source. We know who we are from the experience of who we are, not from an intellectual knowledge, relaxation, guided meditation, or repetitive meditation practice.

Non-dual meditation is a subtle, but not difficult meditation. It requires right intention, personal commitment, and correct instruction. It does not promise that you will live each moment in the innocent garden reserved for the protected state of childhood. We are no longer innocent. Yet we have, unlike the child, the capacity to reveal and live once again in this garden while sustaining the healthy capacities of an adult human life.

But our sense of an independent and autonomous personhood is tenacious and persistent. It will resist and serve as an obstacle to touching and sustaining our true essence. So, the preparatory practices are essential in softening the ordinary “I” and increasing the probability of revealing and stabilizing our more essential self. However, the final experience must open on its own, as it cannot be commanded by the effort and will of the obscuring ego.

Once again, T.S. Eliot’s words:

We shall not cease from exploration,

and the end of all our exploring

will be to arrive where we started

and know the place for the first time.  

A child cannot know or protect its birthright – an open consciousness, spontaneous delight, simple curiosity, awe, and easeful direct experience. Parental protection drops away and social and cultural imperatives pull us towards worldly life, narrowing the divine view. But as adults, we can once again touch the sacred and essential self, and this time have the acquired wisdom to know it, protect it, and nurture it. Where we return is from where we started, almost! That “almost” makes all the difference. What we return to is a “conscious innocence,” a condition of compete simplicity and ease informed and stabilized by wisdom gained.

Not only will we touch home along the path, but we can at all times experience its presence in each of the seemingly mundane moments of life. That is Wordsworth’s closing advice in his ode to youth’s wonder lost. It is ultimately the eyes of perception that decide upon heaven or hell. Are the eyes of perception obscured by confusion wrought by the tenacious belief in the ordinary sense of “I,”or is your perception cleansed by claiming the clear and unconditioned perception of your natural self? Heaven or Hell lies in the balance.

We know there is something more to life that is now hidden from us. Hidden, that is, except for an indelible memory that quietly beckons us towards what is larger, towards what holds greater meaning, towards a home we remember, a home once again revealed as the crowning achievement of human life.

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An Audio Meditation -Cutting Through to the Center of Your Being

                                    A Guided Audio Meditation   

 

This guided meditation will offer you a template for your meditation practice that reaches towards the direct experience of your authentic self, which is the essence and center of our being. We progress through the three stages of meditation: Calming the Mind, Resting in Stillness and Spaciousness, and beyond to the Center of our Being, our Natural and Authentic Self. This self, rather than our ordinary "I," is the reservoir of a natural serenity, happiness, wisdom, and compassion.

 

You can use whatever aspects of this guided meditation are useful for you, drop in at any level, or follow the practice as guided. 

 

 

Audio Meditation: Cutting Through To Your Authentic Self - A Lifetime Practice 

 

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